Dating And The Single Mom

April 19, 2018

You may wonder why I'm writing this post. Why me, a single mother in her early 20-somethings that is trying to balance a launching career, writing a BOOK*(consider this an announcement for those who didn't know), raising an 18 month old, and just trying to get 4-5 hours of sleep a night would talk about dating. I guess that now's also a good time to say it's because I've been seeing someone.

 

For several months.

 

And I'm in love.

 

Oops.

 

Let me start with this was never my plan. In my perfect world, I was going to be a kick-butt single mom for the rest of my life, I was going to adopt an older child one day and give my girl a sibling one day, and I was going to rock the loner life.

 

God had other plans. 

 

Last summer, I reconnected with someone from my early childhood into high school years. He needed a haircut, and we immediately hit it off. We became quick best friends until we both started to realize there was something more there. That talking every single day all day wasn't totally normal. That we already existed in a state of flirtation and emotional intimacy that came almost instantly in a friendship that was based entirely on debating controversial topics in our lives. Then one day, he wanted to have THE talk. The DTR(defining the relationship) talk.

 

Guys, I can't even begin to tell you the way this talk made me feel with the innate respect and adoration and cognizance he showed. In it, he recognized without me saying that dating was going to be a sacrifice for me in that I would be giving up precious time with my daughter, that I would likely spend money on a babysitter, and that I would be opening myself, and eventually, my girl up for possible heartbreak. He recognized that it wouldn't be easy with my past relationship causing serious anxiety and diagnosed PTSD. That he wanted to take this seriously and had been fighting with it because of the serious nature of it all and that he didn't want us to be hurt further, so he had wanted to be sure up until this point. He also recognized our need for stability and peace in our life, and expressed the desire not to disrupt that, but add to it. After asking that I seek guidance and wisdom, we decided to meet up a few days later to revisit. 

 

Y'all. I was smitten. 

 

Now, here we are, and while this hasn't always been easy, great things usually don't come easily, do they? This man is one of the most genuine, kind, gentle, and patient people I've ever met in my entire life. He takes every obstacle and anxiety of mine in stride. He has such a love for people and humanity and human interaction. He consistently turns our relationship back to the Rock that it is founded on. He is trustworthy and tender. He set healthy boundaries and expectations from the start, and he sticks with them. He loves my girl and I in the sweetest, most beautiful way, and I'm beyond blessed.

 

I can see myself starting a life with this man and for the first time in two years, the deeply rooted cynicism I had has softened and faded away. No matter where this goes, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God redeems everything.

 

Life has gotten even sweeter, my friends.

 

 

 

*Everyone has been asking where I've been as of late, and with wedding season in full swing, writing a book, and a sweet but active little girl, I've been a little bit busy! Those who have known about my book have asked me what they can do to help me along as I write! Up at the top of this page is a Paypal link that can be used to help with childcare, book expenses, and all of the coffee I will need. Your love, prayers, and support are greatly appreciated!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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