Do you know how much more attractive men with high paying jobs and no family life are to young women? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of men anymore because of the lack of CEO-esque positions in the work place! How dare all of these positions become more and more filled up by men AND WOMEN! I propose that because obviously we as women were created to be childbearing slaves who are meek and silent, we remove all women from the work place so that these young men can be the breadwinners for their families.
You see, as believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him, and he calls debt a burden. The burdens of debt needn’t only be financial, but also emotional, and imagine the emotional toll it would take on a man to *gasp* be a stay at home dad, or even worse, make less than his partner! We should eliminate all women from the work place as such. We should also make 80 hour work weeks the norm for all men. You see, men take pride in their work, and we can’t expect them to come home and be with their family in the evening! That’s a woman’s job. Men shouldn’t be expected to have to deal with CHILDREN, much less the ones they created.
I also firmly believe that women shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public, dare their eyes wander and come across another man. You see, we women can’t control ourselves and shouldn’t be trusted. It isn’t a man’s fault that he wouldn’t be able to say no to a beautiful woman like us, just flaunting our innate sexuality. He’s “programmed” that way, after all. Women wouldn’t ever have any desire for sex, would they? Because sex is clearly only to please men and make babies. I believe we should cover the female body entirely on potato sacks so that we don’t draw unwanted attention to ourselves. We must ask our husband’s to teach us what we should and should not desire. I for one fully trust that my husband knows my body’s entire anatomy inside(and the ever important out), so he obviously knows exactly how to please me. But don’t you worry, I would never hurt his ego by telling him that I wasn’t pleased in the United States Average of 5.4 minutes.
Speaking of what our husband’s should teach us, I also believe that our husband’s should teach us to read and write. I believe it to be the job of our husband’s to decide what we do and do not need to know in this dark and dangerous world, and the ability to read and write allows for us meek and feeble women to gain too much knowledge. We can’t allow that burden to be placed on our shoulders! In fact, I would prefer for my husband to decide and dictate my entire moral code and that of my family’s as well. That’s why my parents sold me to him, after all!
Men and women. We are partners in this life. Your spouse is your equal. We both have strengths, and weaknesses. There are seasons for all things on this earth, and no one’s marriage looks the same. Some men are called to be stay at home dad’s or choose to do so because their wife wants to further her career, and that. Is. Okay. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that men cannot stay at home, and NOWHERE does it say that raising children is easy. It too, is work. Some families are called to or have a need for a two-income household. Sometimes, both parents WANT to work, and that. Is. Okay.
Let’s not pretend that we know God’s plan for each of our lives, because to be honest, we don’t even know His plan for our own lives.